|Sexuality as a political, economic and cultural force - Part Seven|
|Life – Consciousness|
Sexuality as seduction in marriage
There are two solutions to this problem: either to accept the situation, operating within and outside the marriage simultaneously, simply accumulating such piquant memories for our old age, or to reflect upon the essence of the relationship in theory, but also practically in the specific relationship, and to respond with spiritual self-respect.
Love - in the sense in which we have spoken of it above, and not in the degrading, foolish sense attributed to it by all age groups - is the puzzle, because apart from the self-deception in which people indulge as to its nature, it is inaccessible as long as man is possessed dominatingly by the fear of death, the tendency towards superiority and conquest, and the undervaluing of consciousness. It requires serious leaps of the consciousness, and this is not a matter of thought or emotion but something over and beyond these: it is the awareness of the relation of the individual with wholeness and the recognition of wholeness as underlying the whole of life - including the individual life.
Love can be both impersonal and personal. These two must co-exist and be balanced against each other, otherwise impersonality can end in insensitivity and the personal in a 'prison' as power or submission. Love is a matter of value and at the same time free of conditions; it is value-based (not racist) when it is addressed to individuals, but impersonal to the whole which is inherent in each individual. This is a distinction which necessarily has to be made, because many think, in a maximalist way, that true love has to be given without caring about the qualities of the other. This, however, is an amoral disarming of the good in the field of action. The absence of conditions concerns unselfishness and harmlessness as motives and not submission to the selfishness of each individual. Dominating people and seduction devise terms of the alleged 'good' in order to subjugate other people, while they themselves are lost in their dependence on the existence of those subject to them, but unselfishness does not mean either naivety or passivity.
Love is a spiritual relationship and can lend a humanity to sexuality so that the instinct becomes truly natural. Man cannot live in constant sexual hypertension in his thoughts, because sexuality - with or without seduction - cannot be a substitute for the boundless and the spirit. Excess kills off sexuality and distorts it, it renders it the 'executioner' of everyday life and eccentricity, and leads man to the loss of self-knowledge. Consequently, it leads him to submission to hollow models.
Love, of course, will completely overturn the scene of relationships and marriage, but when it is achieved, it will bring about a harmony and tranquillity at the same time as a renewed and intense creativity of another kind which today seems unthinkable. Otherwise, sexuality either on its own (which at present is inconceivable) or with seduction dominant (which is commonplace) is incapable of supporting substantive relationships. This is common knowledge. We have, therefore, nothing to lose but our prison.
As Yannis Zisis[i] says: "Sex remains a right of every human being without ritual mystiques, and a spiritual person is not called upon to abstain, but to highlight the responsibilities and the significance of the right ... In all this concern, sexual passion should not give a false impression of its boundlessness; it has proportions and limits."
"However, the solution to the problem, however odd this may seem, is none other than love and the emotion of affection, over and beyond sexuality and anthropocentrism ... No one can destroy what is repressed by means of non-transubstantiative inhibition, its ritual and symbolic indirectification."[ii]
Summing-up and conclusion
You may also read:
SEXUALITY AS A POLITICAL, ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL FORCE - PART ONE -- Introduction -Sexuality as inequality and as a means
SEXUALITY AS A POLITICAL, ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL FORCE - PART TWO -- Sexuality as self-definition
SEXUALITY AS A POLITICAL, ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL FORCE - PARE THREE -- Sexuality as an antidote to fear
SEXUALITY AS A POLITICAL, ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL FORCE - PART FOUR -- Sexuality as socialization
SEXUALITY AS A POLITICAL, ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL FORCE - PART FIVE -- Sexuality as freedom
SEXUALITY AS A POLITICAL, ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL FORCE - PART SIX -- Sexuality as seduction
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